I got a surprise in the mail yesterday, there was a large Publishers Clearing House sized check laying by my mail box from our friends at Microsoft. Seems like they think they can buy me off and have me sell Internet Explorer to the masses.
You know what, if you saw all the zeros that came after the one on this check you would do the same thing I am about to do. Who needs Firefox and Mozilla? Here are your Internet Explorer Facts!
Who Wants to Customize the Look and Feel?
Internet Explorer doesn’t bother me with the ability of being able to decide what the browser looks like. That damn Firefox keeps tossing themes and customizations I can make to the browser interface. Who needs it? I just want a browser with an address bar and those wonderful Internet Explorer icons.
Add-ons? Extensions? Who Needs Them?
Oh please Mozilla. Are you doing to tell me that your users know best when it comes to picking additional features to add via extensions or addons to the browser? Sure if somebody wanted to download a web developer toolbar and the next guy didn’t, is that really a good thing to do?
I know with Internet Explorer I don’t have to worry about getting to customize too much.
Standard are for Sissies!
Come on, Microsoft doesn’t have to live up to standards. IE7 only supports 54% of the CSS 2.1 standard, as compared to 52% in IE6 and 93% in Firefox 1.5 and 96% in Opera 9. Internet Explorer went up two percent, is that not good enough for you? I guess next you are going to say you want the menu bar back on the top of your Windows.
Microsoft has done what is best for you hidden it because you don’t need it. If you do need it, well - we can toss it in the middle somewhere because the day we were working on that was also “cake” day at Redmond.
On an additional note I wanted to let the Opera guys know I got their buyout offer too for my soul. Unfortunately, the bank said they couldn’t cash the “I OWE U” note you left, sorry!
*cough* April Fools! */cough*
